Joy has a way of breaking through ordinary days, gift wrapped with your name written in God’s hand writing. How do I know? Well God has been teaching me more about his character, his unique love for each one of us, and re training me to understand that some of the things I have believed about him are just not true.
Yesterday was such a day. It started off like any ordinary day. I had made a shopping list of clothes I needed for winter, and as my birthday was coming up I decided that I would use the opportunity to up grade the quality and style of a few favourite items.
Walking into the shopping centre with Graham my husband, I had coffee on my mind when my eyes caught sight of a ‘designer’ handbag in one of the stores close to the entrance. There was something about the shape and colour, that made me stop and walk over to the the stand, and gaze at it with admiration. Then I remembered that on my “one day I shall buy list” was a beautiful handbag such as this one. I had a hearts desire for one, but the price has always stopped me from buying it, because well frankly, we could not afford to do so.
I had been talking to God about wisdom in the things I would buy that day, and this was the very first item I laid my eyes upon, and it wasn’t on the list. In my heart I felt a surge of joy, a freedom and a peace. Graham told me have it for my birthday if I
would like it. I was surprised for it was expensive, so I asked the lady to hold it while we took a few hours to think about it.
I remember thinking “could God possibly want me to experience joy over a Handbag?” An expensive one that wasn’t on the list. I had always perceived God as a loving but a strict Father that wouldn’t be too happy about me wasting my money on something so trivial. Then I remembered that just a few weeks ago he had encouraged me to buy a hanging chair that I had wanted for a long time. This has worked out so well for me, it has helped me to relax when I am stressed, and I love sitting in it looking at the birds and watching the clouds move as I seem to float in a care free way. I also found I could sometimes pray more creatively with a joy in my heart, and so my worship times have improved as my out look improved.
God knows I am in a hard season, he knows me better than I know myself. He understands that I sometimes struggle with anxiety and depression, and with feelings of past failures. I particularly struggle with the feeling that I am never good enough, that I always fall short of my own and his expectations.
Then there was the knowledge that compared to others, such as persecuted Christians, those in physical pain, people experiencing poverty and hardship, when I measured my sadness it didn’t seem right God should allow me the joy of a gift of his love.
I have just finished reading a book called “When Faith Gets Shaken” by Patrick Regan. This book challenged me to question my beliefs about a lot of things. I had always despised my tears for example, I felt they achieved nothing and only choked me up and gave me a headache, yet I have had to re think and accept the truth that there is a place for them such as is expressed in Psalm 126 verse 6 where it says “He who goes to and fro weeping carrying his bag of seed, such as our prayers shall come again with a shout of joy. In Psalm 16 verse 11 it says “ You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
Just as there are so many scriptures we can read in the Bible that mention joy so there are many ways God can educate us as to how he disperses his joy to his children. Sometimes God does give us a gift that we can touch and look at that fills us with joy in good times, and in a the hard seasons, so that we will understand that his will for us is to know him fully as our dear Father who loves to give good gifts to his children. After a few hours, I felt I knew God’s will concerning the handbag, he wanted me to experience a special gift of joy and love.
God Bless you from Carol.
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